i have calmed down quite a bit now. being drugged up and having nothing better to do than sit and think does quite alot. i thought about it, prayed about it, and talked with matt about it, and i've come to the inescapable conclusion that i am solely to blame again. i should know better by now than to react in posting while pissed off, but hey, i'm still human and i screw up.
so the apology sections post are divided into sections. first james, then andrea, then ralph.
first, my friend james, whom i still consider one of my best and closest. i only hope the feeling is mutual. i am so sincerely sorry for accusing andrea of causing your five-minute depression; there was more to it, i know now, than what met the eye. i jumped the gun and assumed and didn't ask or find out what i should have know before opening my mouth. since my experience with suicical tendencies tend to last for more than five minutes, i assumed yours did the same - thus my disbelief of andrea when she said it was only five minutes. i'm also sorry for the sarcastic crack about being depressed over the election.
andrea: to you as well, i'm sorry for accusing you to be responsible for james' depression. i know how i would feel if someone accused me of the same. i'm sorry for making more of your moodiness/crabbiness/etc than what it really was.
and ralph. andrea said i owed you an apology. i'm unclear as to what that is, aside from offending you by what i said to james and andrea - for which i also apologize to you. as matt reacted to my being attacked, i'm sure you're more than angry with me for attacking them.
did i miss anything? i want there to be no hard feelings, and as usual, i'm responsible for everything that went wrong. of course my apologies mean nothing towards there being no hard feelings, but i think this is preferrable to further depression.
okay, on to bigger and better things, whether or not you guys hate me.
ralph, i never said i was voting for bush
only because he was pro-life. i just think he was a better candidate than kerry was. besides, if you can profess a great hate for bush, why can't i do the opposite? what i
did say was that the pro-life/pro-choice issue always was (and will be) an issue high on my importance list. if you're referring to the cartoon, it was for amusement. if not, disregard that part.
the surgery went just fine. i was really nervous about it. i think that's part of my irritability over the past few days. that's not to excuse my behaviour, mind you, but there it is. i'd never had to take anisthetic before, so it was unknown as to whether or not i was allergic to anything. being pessimistic by nature, i was sure i'd die (or come close to it) while under. but i'm fine now (if not a little swollen in the mouth).
glad you made it, matt! nice to see you. :) and no, i don't have chipmunk cheeks, despite the fact that i had a tooth on each side removed. the lower left is the only side that feels a little swollen (but it's on the jaw line anyway).
one last thing. andrea, the comment about cutting
was uncalled for. it's not something i'm proud of, and i don't bring it up like ralph does (not a shot, ralph, just saying). in fact, i'm trying to rid myself of it. but comparing one who
does to one who
doesn't is still a low blow. there's the matter of personalities, of temperaments, of alot of things. i just ask that you not use that against me, okay?
jess is coming up tomorrow after work. i'm so glad i'll be able to see her. we had originally thought we wouldn't be able to see each other at all this weekend.
if i would follow and believe
with faith like a child
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