5/20/2005

i have a spoiler for star wars: episode three. i know you cannot resist. î

anakin becomes darth vader.

anyhoo.

episode three intrigues me. yeah, jess and i are going to see it tomorrow night, but the implications are much more than what people think. sure, it's the final star wars movie and the end of an (incredibly badly written and acted) era. but what's more, it goes against everything america's hollywood supports.

number one: we know the ending.
come on. you know what's gonna happen. no, you don't know exactly what goes on, but you know enough where you could never see it and not miss a beat.

number two: the bad guy wins.
the bad guy never wins. it's bad form. you want to cheer for the good guys. sure, we'll cheer for a bad guy in a movie (like dennis hopper's character in waterworld), but we know he'll get his in the end. we know, we know, we know that the bad guy never triumphs. but here - he will (okay, right. it's only a temporary win... but still, give me a break).

number three: the bad guy has asthma.
the whole thing would've been different if there was a high pollen count.

number four: he has a cape but can't fly.
total waste of material. even batman swings on stuff - he creates the illusion. vader doesn't even run. stupid wheezy old guy.

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